


Fallen

by wordstothewisereaders



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, F/M, SPN - Freeform, human!Cas, injured!Cas, so this was a first, wingless!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 03:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9415862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordstothewisereaders/pseuds/wordstothewisereaders
Summary: What happens when an angels wings are destroyed? Do they fall into a powerless state of misery or continue on as a broken being trying to solve mortal mysteries? Castiel's world has been quite literally ripped from him and now he is left to pick up the pieces. Will he be able to repair the irreparable?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I really enjoyed writing this particular fic. I hope you guys like it as much as I do! WARNING!!!: I will have to add a warning that I couldn't in the archive warnings which are that there is a lot of blood mentioned several times throughout the story; however, there is not any direct violence.

***

The dull lights of the bunker seemed to be as bright as a supernova as Castiel limped in, shoulders hunched and eyes squinted. The world spun around him, and he just barely made it to his room before collapsing entirely. He winced at the pain from the contact between his back and the bed. Cas rolled over as gingerly as he could and buried his face in his pillow. His breaths were shallow, and every time he moved pain radiated through his shoulders. He drifted into an uneasy sleep full of nightmares of what he had just endured.

***

The clanging of the bunker door startled you from your sleep. You hadn't meant to drift off, but you supposed laying in your bed to study lore was not the best way to prevent it. You slipped a torn piece of paper into the large mythology book you had been reading and set it aside, making your way towards the kitchen where you knew the brothers would still be studying.

"Sup, Y/N?" Dean asked as you came to a stop at the table.

"Is Cas back?" you asked, rubbing your eyes.

Cas had left two weeks ago to do something that you and the brothers had not completely understood. He had disappeared after saying that there was some unfinished business to attend to, and that was that. You missed the awkward angel. You had developed feelings for him after spending so much time together. He appeared completely oblivious, though you weren't great at communicating your feelings either. Nonetheless, you found your days seemingly more uneventful without your gawky conversations and quiet movie marathons with Cas.

"Dunno, why?" Sam replied, drawing his eyes away from his laptop.

"Because she's in looove, Sammy." Dean said playfully, raising his eyebrows and nudging you suggestively.

Your cheeks grew red and you crossed your arms, unable to think of a smart comeback.

"Shut up." was your only retaliation.

Dean smirked at you, looking to Sam as if to say 'I told you so.' You rolled your eyes and turned away, deciding to look for the angel yourself.

***

The hallway containing Castiel's room was as dead quite as it always was. You made your way to his door to find it closed. You looked down and saw small but fresh spots of blood leading inside. Your heart sped up and you knocked softly.

"Cas? Can I come in?"

You were met with silence and your hand fell. There was still a possibility that he was there, so you opened the door anyway and took a step in. The sight before you was odd. Cas lay face down on his bed, still fully clothed, and appeared to be asleep. You mentally counted everything that was off about the scene before you. Angels never slept, and Cas would have at least checked in with the boys or you as soon as he arrived, even if he wasn't in the mood to socialize. Realizing something was terribly wrong, you sat on the edge of the bed and lightly shook Cas' shoulders. He jumped, startled, before quietly whimpering. He slowly moved to his side, wincing.

"Cas, what happened?" you asked, incredibly worried by his unusual actions.

He shook his head, sitting up carefully.

"Please tell me so I can fix it." you said, taking his hand gently in yours.

"My wings." he said, voice hoarse.

"May I?" you asked, tugging at the edge of his trenchcoat.

Cas nodded. You pulled it off and sat it to the side, moving to his blazer. You peeled it off as lightly as you could manage and noticed the sticky wet sound it made as it was removed. Blood seeped through his white button down and ran from the top of his shirt to the middle of his back. You gasped before continuing to remove his tie and the last layer of shirts. Two identical gashes several inches long were right where a human's shoulder blades would be. They were close to an inch wide and ran deep into him. Blood pooled in the wounds and drizzled down Cas' back. You skimmed a thumb over one of them. He flinched away almost immediately.

"I'm going to get Sam and Dean." you said, having absolutely no idea what had happened or what to do.

"No, stay. Please." Cas said shakily.

"Tell me what happened." you said, assessing his injuries.

"They ripped out my wings. They're gone, Y/N." he said, tears welling in his eyes.

"What does that mean?" you asked.

"I'm human. Permanently." he said quietly as if this was just fully setting in.

"We'll fix this. I'll fix this." you said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

You got up, going to find anything that could help the fallen angel. You were dead set on fixing him, and you would find a way.

***

Cas sat helplessly on his bed. It felt like his world had been quite literally ripped from him and all he could do was watch. The physical pain was excruciating, but it was nothing compared to what his mind was throwing at him. He would never be able to be an angel again. His grace had left with his wings. What would you think when you found out? Cas wanted to impress you ever since he got these strange new feelings that he soon realized were the beginning of love after talking discreetly with Sam, but he felt that all hope was gone now that he was powerless. It was more than just this. Cas now believed that he was useless during anything involving cases. There would be no more healing and no more surprise appearances during troublesome times. He was no longer invincible, and it terrified him.

Cas did not have long to dwell on these frightening revelations, because you were soon back with several bottles and what looked to be bandages. You sat next to Cas and, despite the immense discomfort his wounds were bringing him, he felt slightly better because of your presence.

"This is going to hurt like hell, but it'll keep them from being infected, okay?" you asked, already hating what you were about to do.

Cas managed a strangled "okay" in reply before you set to work. You dipped a cloth in rubbing alcohol and gingerly cleaned out the first gash. He inhaled sharply upon the contact and you stopped for a moment.

"It's going to be okay, Cas." you said, continuing on.

He nodded, and somewhere in the process he took your hand and squeezed it for support.

The task was slow and painstaking. You paused every time Cas flinched and also gave him a few moments to catch his breath. You had to stitch both of the wounds back together. It took almost twelve stitches per cut to fully close the wounds. It was relieving once you were through and bandaging the wounds. It was still unclear what had happened to Cas and who had inflicted such a terrible thing upon him. You knew the angel and figured that with time would come answers. Pushing him would only make matters worse.

Your bandaging and stitches looked like that of someone from a medical background. It had good reason because you had been patching up the Winchesters since you were at least ten. You made sure your work was correct and put the supplies on the nightstand, moving to sit beside Cas on the edge of the bed. He took your hand again hesitantly, knowing the circumstances were slightly different for physical contact now.

"Thank you, Y/N, so much." Cas said quietly.

You could practically hear him hurting in those five words. It broke your heart to see him so different and disheveled. You looked into his brilliant blue eyes that still looked as thoughtful as any other day. It seemed as if he could ask a million questions at once through them.

"Of course, Cas." you replied, tilting your head.

Something about your soft tone and the immense care you had shown snapped everything that he had been holding together for the last hour. His eyes stung and he could feel his throat tightening. Tears welled at his eyes and one slipped down his cheek. It was all so overwhelming.

"Cas, please. Everything's going to be alright." you said soothingly, pulling the fallen angel into a delicate hug.

You were careful to place your arms below the bandages. Cas clung to you like a small child that was afraid of the dark. Due to both of your awkwardness, contact was a rare thing for you and him, even though you were so close. It was odd how he openly accepted your affection. You felt him tremble beneath you and drew small circles on his lower back. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, and you moved another hand to card through his hair. 

"Shh. It's okay, Cas." you whispered, knowing perfectly well that it was not, in fact, okay.

You held the fallen angel well into the night.

***

Cas could feel all of the mental wall he had worked so hard to build that guarded his feelings crumbling down as he held on to you. He had never let himself go this far and, while it was still painful, it was freeing in a sense. While the feeling was foreign, he could understand the purpose it served.

He knew that you had been whispering supportive words to him for a good half hour before he finally pulled himself together enough to talk. Cas pulled away from you so that he could look at your beautiful eyes. He felt your thumb skim across his cheek, removing the streaks of rogue tears. His mouth twitched upward into a smile that was not quite there. You gazed back at him questioningly but never said a word. He knew you weren't going to pressure answers out of him, although he owed you an explanation. You sat in silence for what felt like forever before he decided to speak up.

"I'm sorry." Cas murmured, glancing down at his lap.

You tilted your head. "There's nothing to apologize for."

He sighed, tilting his head up to look at you. "I've disappointed you."

Silence filled the room again as you contemplated what he had just said. 

"How?" you asked, thoroughly confused.

Cas was hesitant to respond, sure that he should have kept his guilt to himself. He knew, though, that he couldn't keep this locked up forever.

"I'm supposed to be an angel of the Lord, Y/N. I am supposed to help you with cases and heal your wounds, not the other way around. I was meant to watch over and protect the three of you, not the other way around, and now I am incapable of doing so. I can no longer do what is needed of me from you. My grace is gone, and now so will your use for me." he explained, his heart heavy.

"Cas...do you really think that?" you asked, feeling devastated. Before he could reply you continued. "None of that has ever mattered to me. I don't-I have never cared if you can do extraordinary things with a snap of your finger. I care that you are who you are, Cas."

He stared at you thoughtfully. It was like he didn't believe what you had just said. "Do you really mean that?" he asked quietly.

"Always." 

Cas' blue eyes seemed to become less troubled. He looked at you with admiration, like you were as striking as the stars he loved to marvel at. Which to him, you most certainly were. You rested a hand on his cheek and, before you could say anything else, Cas found himself leaning into your touch and towards you. His lips met yours in an endearing kiss. He was gentle, acting as if you would break if pushed too hard. 

This was what both of you had been waiting for for so long. It was better than Cas could have imagined, influencing a rush of feelings he had never quite experienced before. He cupped your cheek tenderly with one hand, resting the other on your knee. You were just as ecstatic as him, running your fingers through his hair.

Cas pulled away, an expression of awe on his face. You smiled shyly. He took your hand again, looking at you to ask for permission first. No words were spoken for the rest of the night. Cas needed to heal, and talking was not going to accomplish such a matter, especially for the awkward being. Instead, Cas spent the rest of the night in your arms, allowing himself to hurt for the first time.

Maybe he was broken, but at least he had someone to pick up the pieces with.


End file.
